Hey, Doods and Doodettes.
I'm sorry that there's no comic today, but we really need to talk. As of this post, I'm leaving the blog. Permanently. This isn't how I wanted Doodle Doods to end, but I have no choice after recent events.
If that's all that matters to you, feel free to click away and find a web-comic with less problematic artists behind it. If not, read ahead, as I feel that I owe our faithful readers a proper explanation. You've been with us every step of the way, so it's only fair that you know why it all came crashing down.
It started with our Birthday Bash. My parents gave me the go-ahead so I spent all night getting the garage ready and decorating it with cool stuff from the collection. Movie posters, limited edition cups, that sort of thing. I used my first paycheck to get us snacks and soda, and My mom even ordered us a cake. I guess she was excited that I was finally spending my birthday with someone other than Will. Hell, she and dad even decided to go out so we could have the place to ourselves. Now that I think about it, maybe that was for the best.
Will showed up a couple of hours before everyone else so he could help me set things up and add some of his own stuff to the decorations, but I could already tell that something was off. He insisted on talking about how he had done something "really fuckin' cool" involving Julami and some girls from school and called me a "candy-ass virgin" when I told him that I'd rather just focus on the party.
Things went well at first. Vic showed up with his own wiimote so we could all play Mario Kart together, then Mari arrived a little before sundown, looking gorgeous in a green dress with a sunflower print. I told both of them not to bring any presents, but Mari bought us each a copy of Stephen King's Cell. We didn't really know how to react since Will and I had actually never bought each other birthday presents before. I mean, think about it, he'd be spending money on a gift for me one day only for me to spend the same amount of money on a gift for him the next day, so why not just eliminate the middle-man by spending that money on ourselves?
It was nice, though. We ate, drank, listened to music (Mari and Will competed over the playlist) and played videogames. It was just a great time overall. But then Will had to start with his bullshit. He kept teasing Vic about his guest post, saying stuff like "I had no idea you could write with a brain that small" and "did your mom get my invitation to the dance?" Vic didn't seem to care, though. He was more focused on Mario Kart and our ongoing game of "truth or dare".
Somehow, I think him being so cool about it made things worse. Will had a bone to pick and he wasn't going to stop until he got a reaction. Mari had just asked Vic if he'd rather bite into a raw lemon or tell us who he's planning on inviting to the dance when Will interrupted the game. He told Mari that her questions were too easy, so he turned to Vic and asked him if he'd rather take off his pants and show us his tiny dick or "tell us which girl from school you'd choose to rape if I put a gun to your head and forced you."
That was obviously the last straw. But before I could say anything, Vic got up and pinned Will to the wall. I can't remember exactly what Vic said to Will (probably because Mari kept screaming at both of them to stop), but there were plenty of swear words involved.
I remember everything that Will said, though.
"You're just pissed because you know everyone here also wants to fuck Marianne."
That's when I got involved. Vic was about to punch Will in the face so I wormed my way in between them, telling both of them to back off. Then I turned to Will and told him to stop being such an asshole and just enjoy the party.
That was a mistake.
"Really, Will? Don't you get that this asshole is just like the rest of them? You can fool these idiots but I know for a fact that you're just as fucked up as I am, so don't get all high and mighty with me. Or do you want me to tell them about the comic you wanted me to make about Marianne?"
Then I punched Will in the face.
That was a big mistake.
Mari screamed and Will sank to the floor with blood pouring from his nose. He spat out a mouthful of blood and grinned with red teeth. My knuckles ached, but I still wanted more.
"That's the Robby I know. I bet you didn't even tell your new friends about why we had to change schools."
Vic asked me what he meant by that but I was in no condition to answer. I just stared at Will as he got up, wiped his mouth and turned to leave.
"Some best friend you turned out to be."
That was the last time we spoke.
Mari was frantically grabbing her stuff by the time I returned to my senses. Vic tried to hold her by the arm and kept asking if she wanted him to walk her to the bus stop but she kept pulling away. I also tried talking to her but she yelled at me to back off. She ended up leaving by herself, and Vic left soon after that. He didn't say anything either. He just looked at me, disappointed.
I got a message from Mari later telling me to not to contact her again. Then she blocked me. I still haven't heard anything from Vic.
And that was the end of the birthday bash.
I realize that is all very pathetic, but I decided that an apology wouldn't mean anything without full disclosure. So here's what Will was talking about.
We were kicked out of our old High School because we made a list of all the people that we wanted to hurt, and I convinced Will to draw a map of the school for us to use as the blueprint for a hypotethical shooting. The teachers found our notes and we were both expelled even though we obviously didn't intend to go through with it. We didn't even know where to buy guns. It was just two stupid kids trying to process the hell that is the public education system.
As for the Julami thing, all I can say is that I'm sorry. I tried to stop messing with that stuff but I jut couldn't resist. I know you guys don't believe it's real, but trust me when I say that once you start getting into this you don't ever want to stop. Either way, I never intended to do anything to you, Mari. Those were just stupid ideas. I swear.
So yeah, maybe I am just as bad as you, Will. Maybe I don't deserve to have real friends or even a decent fucking birthday party, but at least I'm not a miserable piece of shit all the time. I'm trying to be better and to own up to my bullshit, and that's why I'd like to apologize to the only two people who made an effort to make my world a little less shitty.
Vic and Mari, if you're reading this, please please please believe that I'm very sorry.
You know, it's almost funny. Something like this happens just as life seems like it's finally turning around. Oh well. Thanks a lot, Julami.
Before I go, I'd like to thank all of our wonderful readers for keeping the blog alive so far. This really meant a lot to me, and I wish you all the best.
Chainsaw cheers,
- Robby
PS: Vic, I'll leave your Wiimote with Coach Souza so you can pick it up after class. Sorry again.
