i tried

I did my best ok?

Sure I fucked up but you drove me to this. I'm leaving this up as proof. I don't want to forget why I have to do what I'm doing.

Can't remember falling asleep that night. All I know is that I woke up in a pool of gore and stained notebooks. The dreams, man. They don't stop. Maybe I crossed a line. I swear I can almost see him out of the corners of my eyes.

Couldn't remember the name of that Clive Barker story with the faggy couple and the giants made of people. Robby would know. Fuck you, Robby. You asshole. Fuck this Julami bullshit too. 

I just needed to talk to someone. But I was still blocked on MSN.

I didn't even change clothes.

Saw mom in the dining room before I left. Scared myself. But I didn't have time to worry about her.

People kept staring at me on the bus. Bastards have no idea what I could do to them if I wanted to. But not now. Needed to get to Robby's place before Julami found me.

I saw him sitting next to me in the reflection.

It was already night time when I got there. I was willing to forgive you for being a pussy if you could forgive me for being me. That's what brothers do, right? But then you opened the door.

"Fuck you."

Slammed it in my face.

I told you this was my last chance. Said I was sorry. I really was.

"Go to hell," from the other side of the door.

I stood on your porch for a long time before I was ready to go home. Trying to find excuses. Trying to find reasons not to go through with it. I really did. But you know what? Julami is the only who never tried to leave me.

So we're going to do something different. Something bigger. Something that no one can ignore.

Now I'm sitting here covered in red and I have no choice but to keep going. But when the news vans come over to your house and the politicians start moving you around like little chess pieces in their big stupid game, I want you to remember that what's coming is just as much your fault as it is mine.

Rot in hell, fuckers.

- Will